It’s insidious, an attack on everything we all hold dear. The NRA’s plans—led by the group’s ubiquitous Executive Vice President, Wayne LaPierre, are nothing less than an attempt at ripping societal values out by the roots. The whole thing is finally obvious to me and, frankly, I’m not sure why there hasn’t been a lot more noise around the issue.
LaPierre clearly has plans that will shake the very foundation of conservatism across the country. Starting with towns along the Texas-Oklahoma border (including, very possibly, Idabel and Arnett in Oklahoma, and Paris and Vernon in Texas), the plan is to create heavily fortressed enclaves in which men will marry and live with a minimum of five wives. Over a period of two generations, the NRA will then re-enculturate the idea of polygamy into conservative society, relying on Biblical texts and a carefully chosen group of Fundamentalist leaders to carry the message across the South and, eventually, throughout all of fly-over America.
This isn’t just supposition or intuition. This is FACT. And I know this for one very good reason: Wayne LaPierre and the NRA have done absolutely nothing to support this contention, and the complete absence of any evidence at all is irrefutable proof that the conspiracy is well underway!
No one in any of the towns and cities along the Texas-Oklahoma border has commented on the situation—at least not publicly—another sure sign. Fear is keeping everyone silent.
Why the story isn’t all over the mainstream media, the blogosphere, and the Twitterverse is beyond me.
What’s that you say? That makes no sense? Sure it does. It’s perfectly logical, perfectly sound, reasoning. To prove it, I turn to no less an authority than the man himself, Wayne LaPierre.
[I]n public, [President Obama will] remind us that he's put off calls from his party to renew the old Clinton [assault weapons] gun ban, he hasn't pushed for new gun control laws, and he'll even say he looked the other way when Congress passed a couple of minor pro-gun bills by huge majorities. The president will offer the Second Amendment lip service and hit the campaign trail saying he's actually been good for the Second Amendment.
But it's a big fat stinking lie, just like all the other lies that have come out of this corrupt administration.
And Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep, and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools, and we are not fooled. We see the president's strategy crystal clear: get re-elected, and with no other re-elections to worry about, get busy dismantling and destroying our firearms freedom. Erase the Second Amendment from the Bill of Rights and exorcise it from the U.S. Constitution. That's their agenda.
See what I mean? LaPierre uses exactly the same logic! President Obama has done absolutely nothing to restrict guns in this country, has made no statements about wanting restrictions, has, in fact, supported an expansion of some gun rights. So given the complete lack of any actions or statements, it’s clear that the President has an agenda to destroy the 2nd amendment. And LaPierre can’t possibly be wrong, can he? After all, the NRA pays him a cool $mil/year. You don’t lavish that kind of cash on someone with restricted intelligence. So, if LaPierre’s argument is valid, it seems to me that my argument about the NRA’s plans for polygamy makes just as much sense….
Okay, okay: so LaPierre is an idiot. Or I am. Or both of us are. I admit it. We’ve all gotten a good laugh or two out of it, maybe, but other than that, Michael, what’s the big deal? And why are you wasting my time? Who cares, anyway?
Well….You should, actually.
You see, we just had a dark night. A very dark night. A night in which an apparently unstable young man named James Holmes allegedly stepped too close to the mental edge and took his fall in a crowded theater, taking with him a dozen innocent people. And when things like this happen we should force ourselves to have real conversations about real things, real people, real deaths.
And please don’t try to figure out where I stand on the 2nd amendment, because you won’t; I’m neither in favor of taking every gun off the street nor in favor of letting Little Timmy warehouse WMDs. And this essay isn’t about me, anyway.
It’s about you.
Stop talking at each other and start talking to each other. Don’t let LaPierre’s insanity pass for intelligent conversation. Pay your dues to the NRA if you want: they do many, many good things. Believe, if you want, that guns don’t kill people, that people kill people. But be willing to talk about maybe making it a little harder for the crazy people out there to do it. Believe, if you want, that the only good gun is a gun missing its firing pin. But be willing to talk about people who hunt for food or shoot for sport, and about the fact that you want to take something away from them that hurts no one and infringes on their liberty.
Believe what you want, but talk, for freakin’ sake! Talk! Don’t let others talk for you. Least of all Wayne LaPierre and his twisted sense of reality.